The Longing to be Seen

 
March 8th, 2016

Somewhere, long ago
I went to seek love from another
And in that moment
They rejected me.
I shrank

In that moment my Being was diminished

From that small place I told myself
A story
It went something like this….

“I am not worthy enough to have my basic needs met”

In that moment, when I wanted to be seen
I was invisible.

The story became my life
The story of never having quite enough
Of always being in short supply
Of not being seen
Fully

Understood
Completely

For simply being me

Now
As a 55year old woman
I find the story at its peak
It is an old, tired story.
Shared by many.

Our longing
Sweet, painful longing
Is to be seen in our glory
Our sweet, angry, ugly, powerful wholeness

And loved as we are

Today I meet the me who has grown up from this story
Who opens her arms to its lies and illusions
Who knows that I, you, we
All
Seek to be seen, heard, understood

This is our longing
Bone deep

I will continue to be unseen by many
Dismissed
Again
Not because I am not worthy
But because those who dismiss me are lost in their own dismissal

What I can gift them is love and compassion
What I can gift them is seeing them
Seeing their essential selves, as they cannot yet see

What I can gift me is the grounded knowing of my own value, of what I have to offer in service to the world
Steadfast, pure, no flashing lights or megaphones required

I can lift my head
Steady gaze
And say
Yes
I see me
I recognise me
I love me
Here is what I bring
And no you cannot be the thief who takes from me

No longer

And yes, for those who stand beside me
And meet with mutual respect
Let’s play

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