On the end of dominion, patriarchy and the dominant male archetype

As a child until about the age of 9 I used to go to Sunday School each week. When I was a young teen I went through a Christian/Jesus period, but not for long. In my twenties I started to explore new age things…went to any workshop in town, did a lot of ‘inner’ work, and lived the life of the ‘new age spiritual’.

Last year while taking a class with the magnificent Hiro Boga, it became apparent to me, through her gentle yet profound coaching, that I had, for my entire life, placed the image of ‘God’ as this all powerful other force, who bent me at ‘his’ whim. I saw that in my prayers to ‘God’  I was participating in a relationship as a child would to a harsh father.

Our Christian upbringing inadvertently places this mythic story in our DNA. The central male archetype of the dominant God the father. I had lived 53 years without knowing just how inseparable this story had become from me. In finally seeing this, I stopped praying. I stopped worshiping at the feet of this “God”. I stopped believing my life was at ‘his’ beck and call.

As I write this, I am amazed…for I have always held an amount of pride in my intelligence and ability to see large systems. Yet I was unconsciously a part of the story of the dominant male figure who had control of my life. It was, as they say, in the cultural drinking water.

In the time since that realisation I have not really found a relationship with the Divine, other than through nature, and the relationships in my life that are steeped in love.

However what has occurred is the very clear recognition of the need for us as humanity at this stage in history to no longer be seduced by the siren song of the central male dominant figure, in any form. Be that mythic “God” or literal Male power figure.

In my twenties I was seduced by the guru/God/dominant male archetype. I was the seminar junkie, worshiping at the feet of the far-superior-to-me male who knew all…

Of course in this very act I diminished my own light. I learned that to place anyone on a pedestal was a dangerous act that would only end in disappointment. For as sure as the sun rises, a guru is still a human, and as humans we are all perfectly imperfect, and to pretend otherwise is a fools game. Yet many pretend otherwise.

Around me I see the dominant male continuing to place themselves in the superior position, in the illusion of knowing more or having more. Of being able to use off the charts intellect to do spell casting jujitsu to inadvertently (and occasionally deliberately – aka Donald Trump) seduce a fawning audience.

This archetype is dead. All of our systems that are now clearly broken have been built in the image of the dominant male/patriarchal image. Our monetary systems, our legal systems, our corporate structures. To really move beyond them we need to first move beyond placing anyone, and especially a male, in the central role.

I have never called myself a feminist, as I love men and find the word can increase divisiveness. Yet the truth is that the world needs women as leaders. Or, to say it another way, the world needs leaders who never place themselves on the central platform with any dominion over anyone or thing. Instead, the world needs leaders who hold a space for the arising of the best from others and the community. Who do not belittle or shame, ridicule and hold spiritual, intellectual or financial ransom, over anyone. Who live with humility as their ground of being. Who are infinitely kind and generous. Who can be clear about boundaries, but rather than shame, invite the best, and continue to invite.

Any story that is arising now built around the dominant male archetype is the final vestiges of a very old and very broken story.

And then, just when we are fatigued and broken with dominion, be that over nature, women (some men) or the oppressed, we have Malala.

The Malala song is the one I yearn for…a young women who asks for a pencil and the right to be.

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