What wakes you at 2.23AM?
Sometimes they are superficial questions…and you will know if they are because they pass quickly..
*how do I meet payroll? (or what expense needs to be handled)
*how do I solve this particular issue?
*why did ‘x’ have a go at me yesterday? And how should I respond?
Sometimes it is sheer excitement…or a brilliant flash of inspiration. The jackknife out of bed thought you have been wrestling with…the HELL YES!!
I am interested in the deeper questions…the ones that simply do not go away…that insist on being answered.
*what is my deepest calling? My deepest desire? Have I got any clue what my deepest desire is, or has it gone from me? Where and when did I lose it and how do I get it back?
*how can I handle this fear and uncertainty? This thing that grips me…time and again..?
*who do I talk to about this? I feel so isolated. Am I going mad?
*this issue has been with me for years now…years…it consumes my energy, my thinking, my day…over and over…and I am back here…again? Seriously…again? Can’t I be done with this? How do I be done with this?
*I need to change…I know I need to change…or something needs to shift…but some part of me is frankly terrified of that. Who am I if I make these changes? And will the people in my life still want to hang out with me?
*why do I continue to play small?
* why can’t I make the changes that I know are calling me?
*why the hell do I keep waking in the middle of the night with this black hole question sitting there? I don’t know what the question is? I just know that something is waking me that is wanting to be answered.
As we lie in the darkness, lost in our own turmoil, the best antidote is to allow yourself to sink deeper into the question. To drop below the surface, to open to the question rather than try to fight it and return to sleep. There is something that wants to emerge. It is there…if you allow it….a clear voice that knows the way…that part of you that has wisdom and truth as big as the ocean.
2.23AM invites connection to what matters most. Let it in.
Photo credit: Christine McDougall. Crescent moon, and Venus.