Money is a taboo subject. How do I know? Ask any human being to put all of their lifetime of financial statements down for public scrutiny and you will get very few, if any, volunteers. We carry so much shame and fear around money. This has absolutely nothing to do with how much we have, or how little.
In my previous post I discussed choosing one thing to focus on in your personal development. I have chosen to focus on my sovereign relationship to money.
We have constructed money as the way we measure human worth. For me it has also become entangled with the way I measure my intelligence. Surely smart people can make money? Well, no actually. Some really not-very-smart-people have way more money than I will ever have. They are often also much more comfortable with exploitation and manipulation than I am.
I have never come across anyone who is whole and sovereign with their relationship to money. It plays out in a thousand different ways. People hold onto it, hording with every fibre of their being. People spend it on stuff that doesn’t really matter to them, they get the kick out of the spend. People can be wealthy beyond measure and as tight as scrooge. People can fear its lack, its disappearance, its uncertainty. People will complain about the system and the need for change and then go right ahead and continue to make a shit load of money from the very same system without a second thought. Then we get all the funky stuff that occurs between people and their relationship to money when money is involved. Greed, avarice, jealously, hate, violence, distrust. People who will be exploited, people who will exploit. And all of the colours in-between.
When we enter into a relationship with a lender, the dynamic of the relationship invariably changes. (Unless the loan is clean and clear, which is rare.) Banks thrive on keeping people small, dis-empowered and beholden to the illusion of the might of the bank. Loan sharks are just bigger versions of the same form of bullying. The threat is generally built on shame, belittling and occasional violence.
Like any shadow element, when we keep the nature of our relationship to money in the dark what thrives is the stuff that thrives in dark places. Fear, greed, shame, ridicule, humiliation…..And when the powers that hold the purse strings continue to keep their practices in the dark, keeping the truth from the people, we get a society that feeds on fear, shame and rampant greed. It is for this reason among others that we need to have the relationship between politics and money become 100% transparent.
It is time for us to come clean about money. To talk about our money stories. To uncover our money habits. To discover our shame. To bring it all out of the shadow and into the light of day. The larger system of how money is created may not be transformed until we start speaking at the person level.
What I know for sure is that when we do this we will discover that our shame was not our own. It will be shared by millions. Our stories around money, money and power, money and love, money and generosity…all need to be re-written. To be in a sovereign relationship to your money means that you are in charge of your money and not the other way around. You are sovereign over your fears, your shame, your greed. Or, when you are fully sovereign, the elements of fear, shame, greed…will be moved through and dealt with quickly when they do show up. And they show up for everyone.
A sovereign relationship with your money means that you are not held in the clutches of power by a bank, another person or indeed by money itself.
Given that the nature of money has transformed with time, from genuine methods of exchange for services and productivity, to a twice or three times removed relationship with digital bits, our relationship, like any relationship, is fluid and ever changing, never static. Therefore we need to continue to evolve our relationship with money. It is a journey and not a destination.