If you don’t ask the answer is no. How to ask for what you want.

If you don’t ask the answer is no.


Certainly approach the ask from a win win win. Not a me me me.

Why are we afraid of asking? What is the worst that can happen? They may say no?

Or is it more about any of the following..or any variation of the following

~being seen as demanding

~being experienced as egotistical

~being rejected

~putting someone out

Who are all these things about? You, or the person you are asking? Your rejection? Your not wanting to be seen or experienced as demanding, egotistical, asking too much? Let me guess….it is almost always about you. And here is the problem.

How about we give the responsibility back to the person we are asking to be able to speak for themselves. To not give them this opportunity is a covert form of disrespect. So we play games, and drop hints, and be circumspect. Instead of just asking straight.

Ask yourself the truth. Are you approaching the ‘ask’ from an egotistical, demanding, me me me place? If you have zero taint of any of these then ask. If you reek of demanding, or ego…then go back to the drawing board and clean it up until you can ask and be completely OK with a no.

The deep feeling of rejection is always a red flag that we have given the person we are asking more authority over us than we have for ourselves.

Ask. Ask clean. Ask clear. Ask from a win win win. Repeat.

Chris Palmieri via Compfight






2:23AM Integrity is the Essence


Relevant. Provocative. At the frontier of human enterprise for a better world. Join us. Subscriber only articles and special offers. Plus FREE Personal Integrity Inventory.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit
Spread the love

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.