Who the hell am I? I am not the one who took a breath yesterday, or indeed the one who spoke on the phone today. The very fiber of my being has been completely unraveled and reorganised. Who ever I am I am liking more and more.
I am not the little girl who never felt she was enough. The one who has worked her arse off to prove that she is worthy. I am not the set of beliefs that has ruled my life for so long. I am not this, not that. I am nothing and everything. Nowhere and everywhere.
I am light and energy. I am at times profoundly human, and at other times a complete mystery. I am feeling and sensing into spaces I did not know existed. I am excited out of my skin by the possibility of the unfolding…the unfolding of what I have no idea. I am still at times gripped by fear of scarcity. But less so. I am sitting in the words of Lao Tzu….’he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.’
I am watching myself, catching myself in moments of pride, moments when a shadow crosses my soul. What is that darkness that has cast out the light? Sometimes it is a silly thought, an old pattern from aeons ago, sometimes it is my integrity being called into question…for when you really begin to play at the levels of subtle energy, you can get away with naught.
I am open to worlds and worlds of the mystics. I am standing in the space of mystical law. Where my relationship to time and space are warped beyond comprehension. Where miracles are indeed the norm, very ho hum…actually, in the place where if miracles are not happening I am out of harmony with the Universe.
I am opening myself to love. To partnership, deep and profound. And oceans of joy, and dancing, and everything singing in one song. Universe.
I am on the precipice. And the space in front of me is vast, so very vast. The precipice is the place to thrive, and live, the very seat of emergence, the central point of life and vitality.
I am standing in my magnificence like I have never done before. I am opening the space within me, extending it out, far and far. My feet are firmly planted, earth and all of life in full support of the song I have to sing.
I see flickers of beauty, thousands of flickers…the light beings dancing. They are cheering. As are the angels. And the birds. All of life, all of it, wants me to be all of me.
There is only ease, and joy and beauty and infinite ecstasy……and this is the truth.
Lets dance together….
2:23AM Integrity is the Essence
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