Conversation for Understanding – a tool to heal the war between us

The experience of being understood versus interpreted, is so compelling you can charge admission. B. Joseph Ane II The experience of being human is fraught with the opportunity for misunderstanding between people. No one persons world view is the same as the other. Our language and self concepts are so diverse. It is almost a surprise, given our differences, that … Read More

On building and maintaining respect, and what to do when it is lost

Great relationships are built on a foundation of respect. In magnificent relationships, respect grows by days, weeks and years. Respect is earned, and given. In any relationship of quality, respect is active, not passive. It requires an investment of time, love, care and courage. If I am not capable of granting everyone I meet the same level of respect, then … Read More

A series of beautiful moments

Life is a series of moments. On this morn this moment lasted but minutes. The pinks suddenly were there…and then gone, swallowed by endless greys. And a few hours later, after my run, sitting in my artisan coffee shop looking out across the Pacific, another moment. The wonderfully skilled barista, Tim, also an artist and musician, fetched his ukulele from … Read More

The cost of not having the conversation

*the longer you delay, the bigger the issue becomes, the more likely the conversation when had will be explosive. I have seen the unspoken be carried for decades. Imagine living decades with the weight of not speaking up as part of your every day? *the energetic stagnation of blocking the flow of words and keeping them trapped inside will poison … Read More

Exile – invite the exiles home – live whole

I remember, like most parents, the first time I looked into my new born daughters eyes. I was not prepared, like most parents, for the overwhelming feelings of love. I was also stunned by the return look my daughter gave me. It was long, it was deep, and it seemed to say to me…“I know everything. I am the wise. … Read More

The lost years – Maybe our stories are not real

  Maybe the story you have been telling yourself about how your Boss, the Board, or your spouse’s mother doesn’t like you or the job your are doing…is not real? Maybe you are spending your days and nights worrying about something that doesn’t exist? All that time and heart ache…for ghosts. Or not. Why not ask them? Sure, they may … Read More

Optional versus unavoidable suffering

No one is exempt. We all get to suffer. Money or status or success won’t buy you a free pass from suffering. But how much of our suffering is by our choice and how much is not? I love this question. It invites deep contemplation and rich dialogue. Here is how I distinguish optional suffering from unavoidable suffering. Unavoidable suffering … Read More