I love being right – the dangers of righteousness and comparison

I love being right.

But why? What is it about being right that hooks me so much?

There is an aspect to my righteousness that I really don’t like. It has a nasty darkness to it.

There is a superiority that comes with righteousness that dismisses others by the very act. This goes back to the early years in the children’s playground.

I am right and YOU are wrong. I am better than you. I know more. I am smarter. I have my shit together. I am more advanced than you. I am prettier/more attractive. Faster. Stronger. Braver.

Firstly I really hate it when someone/or a business dismisses me as a human for being either wrong or not ‘good enough’. Yet I do this to others. Less now than in the past. It is the dismissive energy that is the issue. It is a very similar energy to the 99%/1% divide, no matter which side of that divide you are on.

Secondly, righteousness lives in comparison. And comparison really is a big black suck hole. The always measuring self against another. The mythical ‘they’ who have more than, or less than ‘me’. Will I ever feel full and whole in my own skin, without any form of comparison?

In comparison I give my own power away to the other, voluntarily, believing that they have more of something.

Righteousness lies, like most things, at the energetic level. There is a difference between someone not being a match for a job, for example, and making someone wrong through righteousness. When seeking a partner I am looking for a match, synergy. Not everyone fits this category. But in the rejection I do not have to make others less than, or wrong. Simply not the right fit.

Occasionally I guide a totally blind runner. He is very tall and I am very short. So while I can guide him, we are not the best fit, as we waste energy in the height differential. There is no righteousness here. Simply what is. Not a good fit.

If I am building a business it helps to see what others are doing. But to get enmeshed in comparison – to either feel our own lack or superiority keeps the business stuck in a loop that will never be sated.

Far better to focus on being the best you can be, learning from your competitors, and returning always to delivering stunning service.

Of course at its heart righteousness comes from lack. What I lack in my own being I seek to puff up through my righteousness.

Therefore the places that I exhibit righteousness are a flaming sign post for my own feelings of lack. Knowing this I can then proceed to keep moving towards my wholeness….by consciously acting to stand in everything I am and am not, without my own harsh judgement.

This is the work of being fully human. It is not easy. Yet it affords us the ultimate freedom and the ability to stand whole in our skin.

 

 

 

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